


If That Is What You Wish

by Sinfulsoup78



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 02:28:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9471398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinfulsoup78/pseuds/Sinfulsoup78
Summary: Brooke was tortured in hell trying to save Castiel. Will she be able to trust him again?





	

I had just put the lid back on the bottle of whisky, picked up my glass and was turning around when I saw him. I heard the glass shatter on the floor, then my voice as it reverberated off the walls. "Sam", I screamed. I looked frantically for a weapon, something, to at least stave off any attack. A kitchen knife to my right. I had to step for it, and trod on broken glass. 

"Sam", I screamed again, holding the knife out in front of me. Sam came through the door with Dean close on his heels. HE was just standing there, looking, what, confused? Perplexed? "I thought I told you to put your bitch over there on a leash."

"Brooke, it's okay, he won't hurt you", Sam said as he drew near to me. I didn't realise how badly I was shaking until Sam tried to pry the knife from my hand. "Dean, we need the first aid kit here."

Sam put the knife on the bench behind me and pointed at my foot. "We're going to get that cleaned up for you. Can I lift you?" He asked, apparently not wanting to frighten me anymore than I already was. 

I looked down at my foot, noticing the pool of blood that I was standing in. I looked at Sam, nodded numbly. 

"I can fix that for you, if you wish."

Sam and I both looked up at that, and the grip that I had on Sam's arm tightened. "You can't let him touch me," I whisper to Sam. The thought of Him touching me right now is terrifying. 

"He won't," Sam says to me. "Thanks Cas, but we got this. Dean is getting the first aid kit."

"Okay," he says, slightly dejected.

I can feel the burn in my foot now, and I tug on Sam's arm to let him know I'm ready. He lowers his arm to catch my legs and I practically jump into his waiting embrace. 

"Sam's better at stitches than I am," Dean says walking into the room. I smile at him, giving a little nod of appreciation. Neither of them know what exactly happened two weeks ago. I haven't the heart to tell them. I don't need to burden them with my time in hell trying to save HIS sorry ass. 

As Sam cleans and bandages my foot, Dean makes light work of cleaning up the broken glass.

Cas still stands on the other side of the kitchen, just watching. I know he doesn't understand my reluctance to be around him. I haven't spoken to him since I dragged him out of that hole - dragged him out from hell.

~FLASHBACK HELL ~

My hands were cuffed above my head, attached to a hook hanging from the ceiling. My knees were in these weird stirrup things, each leg bent at the knee with each calf being tied, oh so tightly, to my thigh. 

And then the door would open and Cas would be there, but it wasn't him. I knew deep down that it wasn't him, but, oh, couldn't those demons be deceiving! And then he would start torturing me, among other things. The worst of it was though, that throughout it all, he kept telling me all things that the real Cas and I had talked about before he got kidnapped and dragged down here. 

~ END FLASHBACK ~

I had been in love with Cas. Now, I didn't know what I felt. It was my own personal hell on earth. I still wanted him. Wanted him to hold me, to tell me it was going to be all right, wanting to snuggle into that trench coat of his, but also being repulsed by what had happened. All the things he had said to me while I was trapped down there. All those horrible things he did. 

And I knew it wasn't him, but I couldn't help it. It was easier to be away from him. To not think, to not want to punch him in the face and kiss him all at the same time. My own personal hell.

I knew he stood outside my door at night, listening to me cry myself to sleep, whispering his name. Or that he would watch as I got way too drunk and just passed out into oblivion. But I didn't know how to fix it, either.

Sam was just closing up the first aid kit when Cas spoke. "I should be going, then," he said sadly. And with a flutter of his wings, he was gone. 

I let out a breath I didn't realise I'd been holding, feeling hot tears sting my eyes. This is insane, I thought, as I felt my cheeks dampen.

"It's okay," Sam soothed, his large hand rubbing circles on my back. "It'll be okay."

"Yeah," I said shakily, "and what if it's not?"

"Well, if nothing else, I bet you could drink me under the table," Dean supplied, and I snorted a half laugh.

"Thank you, guys," I said. "Wanna know what I think? I think I need a good hunt. Nothing like being cooped up with your own thoughts for too long to make you go stir crazy. What do you say? I could start looking around tomorrow, see if anything shows up."

Dean shrugged, then nodded. "Yeah, why not. It's not like we had any major plans anyway." Sam nodded his agreement. I said good night to them both and headed off to bed.

Three days later we were on our way to a town two towns over. Reports of mutilated corpses had come in, and local law enforcement didn't know what to make of it. We pulled into town just as the sun was starting to set. Dean and I went and got a couple of rooms while Sam took the Impala to get us dinner.

I decided to have a shower before dinner, and went off to my room to do just that. The water was hot and inviting, easing away some of the tension in my muscles. I stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around me and headed for my bag, which I'd left on my bed.

"Brooke," I froze, my hands stopping their rummaging. I turned slowly, taking in the blue eyed man sitting in the chair across the room. I wanted to scream, to run, anything that would get me far, far away from him.

"Cas," I said instead. He went to stand, and I held my hand up to stop him. "Stay there," I said. He eyed me cautiously, probably wondering what I was doing. It was a good question. Not one even I had the answer for though.

I lowered myself to the bed, pulling the towel around me a little tighter. I stared at him, studying his features. He certainly seemed like my Cas, but then, so did the one in hell.

A shiver ran over me, and I realised that I isn't know how long we'd been sitting there, staring at each other. It was also when I realised I was still just in a towel. "Will you," I swallowed, trying to get of the lump that suddenly formed in my throat. "Will you stay here. I need to dress, but will you stay?" 

He looked a question at me. "If that is what you wish," he replied. I just nodded. "Then stay I will."

I turned, just about to find something to wear when I heard his sharp intake of breath. I turned to find him sitting forward in the chair, eyes wide and arm outstretched. I scrambled across the bed, trying to use it as a barrier, every nerve on high alert.

"Did that-" he started, then swallowed, "those marks. On your back. Was that from? Did I cause..." He trailed off. I couldn't look at him. I dropped my gaze to the floor and just nodded numbly. I heard a flutter, and looking up, found the chair empty. 

I dressed quickly and sent Dean a quick text saying that I was turning in. He texted back that he and Sam would let me know if anything cropped up. I got comfortable on the bed, making sure that my pistol was safely under my pillow. 

I was just starting to drift off when I heard a knock on the door. I grabbed the pistol, went to the door. I slid a pocket sized mirror under the door, trying to see who was on the other side. A paper bag with a familiar logo. I smiled. Cas had bought me burgers - from my favourite take out place, no less. "Thank you," I whispered, and found that I wish he'd stayed to share with me.

Sam had found that at least three of the victims had puncture wounds on their necks, I discovered the next morning. Dean had gone to get breakfast and coffee, so Sam and I sat in his room, going over hacked reports. The smell of coffee and waffles filled the room as Dean entered. 

"Anything come up?" Dean asked, putting our breakfasts in front of us.

"Looks like vamps," Sam replied around a mouthful of waffle. 

"Do we know where?" Dean asked.

"Be easy enough to locate though, I think. Can't be too many places around that they could use," I supplied. We made a plan to scour the area later that night, each of us taking a third of places we thought vamps might call home.

The fourth place on my list was an ageing decrepit two story farmhouse. I parked my car in amongst a bunch of overgrown bushes and trees, hiding it from view as best I could. The house looked like it hadn't been tended to for decades. 

Armed with a machete and a pistol, just in case, I slowly sidled around the side of the house, staying in the shadows as much as possible. 

Rounding the back of the house, I noticed a light flickering through one of the almost closed curtains. Taking a deep breath, I scampered over to near where the light was. I could hear voices inside, but muffled, making it hard for me to work what was being said. It could be the vamps, or it could be squatters. I wouldn't know until I got a closer look. 

CRACK!! The noise echoed through the silent night. I turned to run, only to come face to face with a huge guy with a bald head, built like a brick outhouse. And a mouth full of fangs. Turning back, there were two more standing behind me. I was trapped - the house at my back and three biker looking vampires in front. I wondered briefly if it would be worthwhile going for my pistol, but it was s useless thought as the three of them closed in, towering over me. I tightened my grip on the machete in my hand. 

The first vamp I had seen lunged for me, and I managed to sidestep it, unfortunately stepping right into the path of one of the others. I was grabbed from behind, my arms pinned uselessly to my sides. It took me a moment to realise that my feet weren't on the ground anymore. I let myself go lax, making myself heavy, leaning forward as far as I could. The vamp, although strong, couldn't hold me like that, and as he leant forward. I bought my head back up and head butted him, hearing the sound of bones shatter. 

Upon seeing their friends nose being broken, the other two vamps advanced on me, and I was still trapped in the first vamps grip. So I did the only thing I could think of doing right then. I closed my eyes and I prayed. Cas, if you can hear me Kitten, I'm sorry. I'm so very, very sorry.

Even with my eyes closed, the light that shone out in front of me was blinding. Worse than headlights on high beam coming straight for you. And then it was dark, and I was falling forward onto my hands and knees. I blinked several times, trying to rid my vision of the black spots floating through it. "You came?" I said, more of a question than a statement.

"Of course," Cas replied. 

"But, why?" I asked, confused.

He held out his hand to help me up, and I took it as he said, "Because it's you, Brooke. And you have nothing to be sorry for." 

I smiled at him then - something I hadn't done in quite a while. "I should go, see how many more vamps there are. See if there are any captives."

"May I, may I assist you?" He asked cautiously.

"I'd like that," I said, surprising myself. But it felt........right.

After clearing out the dozen vamps and finding no hostages, I texted Dean and Sam, letting them know what had happened. They hadn't had any luck so far, so maybe this was the one and only nest. I had one more place on my list, and I told Cas that as we entered my car. 

"Wait here," was all he said, the a flutter and he was gone. "The place is empty," he said, making me jump. I hadn't even realised that he'd returned. Seeing my shock, he said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"That's okay," I replied, although I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. 

"I will go and see if Dean or Sam need some assistance," he said, and then he was gone.

After returning to the hotel, I showered and dressed in an old t-shirt and pair of sweat pants. I heard the hair brush I had been using land on the floor as I caught sight of Cas in the mirror. Retrieving it he started, "If you would allow me to, that is....would you be so.....i was wondering......I want your permission......." he trailed off.

"What are you asking, Castiel?" I snapped. But I wasn't angry at him - not really. More at myself for being so jumpy.

He looked at the ground before meeting my eyes in the mirror. "I would like to brush your hair, if you'll allow me."

I hadn't been expecting that. I could see my eyes go wide, feel my jaw slacken. 

"I'll, um, I'll leave you be, then," he said sadly. 

Realising that he was taking my look of shocked surprise for horror, I said, "Do you really want to?"

"Yes," he replied simply.

"But, why?" I asked. "What do you get out of it?"

"I get to be near you." Seeing my look of scepticism, he took out his Angel Blade, put it on the floor and pushed it over to me. "If it would make you feel....better. Safer."

I looked at the blade on the floor, then back up at him. "Okay," I said, and pointed for him to sit in the chair while I grabbed a pillow off the bed. Situating myself in front of him I asked, "How come you've never asked to do this before now?"

"Because, I've never really needed to earn your trust before now. I would like for you to feel comfortable around me, and I don't think you do right now. So, I will start by brushing your hair tonight, and every night, as long as you want me to," he replied, running the brush through my locks.

"And then?" I queried. 

"And then I will do whatever it is that you want me to do, to make you feel comfortable. Within reason, of course."

"But what if it doesn't happen? What if I can never be around you the way we were before? It's not fair of me to ask you to wait - especially for something that may not even happen," I returned, half thinking out loud.

"I will wait for you, Brooke. And in the end, if you decide that it is just too painful to be around me, then I will step back." Pausing for a moment, he added quietly, "But you are letting me brush your hair, and for that, I am grateful."

I thought about that. I had missed him so much these last weeks that it felt like an eternity. I still wanted to punch him and kiss him at the same time, but it was different now. And then it hit me. This, I thought. This is my Cas. And I wondered why I'd hadnt realised it before. He really was different from the one I spent time with in hell. I had seen Cas angry, seen him fight, lose his temper. But he wasn't mean. Not like the other one. As much as I had been tortured down there, that Cas's words cut deeper than any of the blades he'd used. But not the man who was gently brushing my hair. Not the man who had just offered to wait for as long as I needed. Not MY Cas.

We stayed like that for awhile, me sitting on the floor with him behind me, brushing my hair. It felt nice. Safe. I must've dozed off, because the next thing I knew, I was being lifted. "What are you doing?"

"You fell asleep against my leg. You didn't look comfortable, so I'm putting you to bed," he said as he laid me down. 

"Cas?"

"Yes?"

"Will you stay with me, just for awhile?" I asked, trying to snuggle against him.

"If that is what you wish." I nodded, and felt him curl up behind me. "Then stay I will." I turned and curled into him, sighing contentedly at the smell of him.


End file.
